Invader Zim in South Park
by Invader Jacie
Summary: What happens when Zim, Gaz, Dib, and GIR go to South Park? What happens when Kenny is kidnapped by Zim? What happens when I'm bored? What happens when I can't make a wonderful story title, summary or story, for that matter? This story.


**Here be the story info, everything you need to know if it's a story you'd like to read.**

Disclaimer: HOLY CHEESY POOFS, I'M MATT, TREY, AND JHONEN! Oh wait, those are just my cut-outs, not my reflection. I was wondering how I could be three people at once. ANYWAY, I own nothing. Or else South Park would be seriously screwed, and Invader Zim would be similarly screwed as well. I only own my cameo in this. YES, I WILL BE IN THE STORY. But get killed. (You bastards! Wait. . .I killed myself. Am I the bastard then?) And I got nothing for this, except status as official worst fanfic writer.

Summary: When Zim notices suspicious activity around a certain town in South Park, Colorado, he investigates, taking an interest in a boy who cannot, apparently, die. Dib also becomes interested in Kenny, and it's a fight to who gets to show whom the resurrecting boy. Also, Gaz walks around town, ready to kill for a Bloaty's Pizza (and she does). I don't know what else to say, except, ENJOY IT! I ask it!

Warning: This contains coarse language, violence, character death (can you even call it that when Kenny dies?), possible slash and/or femslash, and should not be read by anyone. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. This is also horribly short, and I think this may be crappy, the first fanfiction factor going in it. And I am semi-profane, but South Park characters are SUPER profane. Remember that when reading something about South Park, not just my stuff. The T rating may be streched to its limits.

Random Question: Who has it worse: Kenny or Squee? (Squee's Great Big Book of Unspeakable Horrors, look it up. I ASK IT.)

-Or-

What is Dib's last name? Don't give me that Membrane crap, it's his dad's first name. In the episode with the shoes that give Dib powers and turned out to be a dream, the shoes said, "Now Dib-whatever-your-last-name-is," Dib said, "That's right." So does he have no last name? Just a random question, no need to answer.

**THIS IS JUST A PROLOUGE, BUT I RECOMMEND READING IT. IT SETS THE BACKGROUND SO YOU AREN'T LIKE, "Oh My God, where the fuck did the voodoo plushies come from?" **(OH SHIT! A SPOILER! FORGET THE LAST SENTENCE.)

* * *

><p>"GIR!"<p>

"I'M MAKING BISCUITS!"

Zim shuddered as he thought of the last time biscuits were made. "NO, NEVER AGAIN!" Zim yelled. Gir dropped something on the ground and started to wail. Zim walked to the elevator, covering his antennae with the wig. Itchy, but better than the Gir-wail at full blast. As the toilevator went up to the kitchen, he saw that his work was cut out for him.

Biscuit batter had gotten on every surface, there were pigeons outside the window, trying to break into the kitchen for some biscuit.

"EEEEEEEEEE!" Gir wailed. He had thrown himself on the ground, and was wailing and writhing. Zim poked his head with the toe of his shoe.

"GET UP! ZIM COMMANDS IT!"

Gir's eyes flashed red, and he saluted Zim after picking himself off the ground. His eyes returned to cyan. He ran over to a table that had not been there this morning, and had Gir's piggy and 4 plushies at it. Zim picked one up, and examined it. It was a boy with an orange hoodie covering most of his face. Zim threw it down, and it landed on a nail, piercing what would have been the heart.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" Stan said, horrified, for Kenny had gone up and up, apparently by himself, until falling to the ground, where a fence post had pierced his heart.<p>

"You bastards!" Kyle said, annoyed, even though he cared about his friend, he cared about the project he had to present, apparently alone, for his partner was now dead. "Now how am I going to present this?" Kyle muttered, more to himself than anyone else. He kicked a can that was at their stop. Cartman stepped in front of him, smirking. Kyle prepared himself with comebacks, but, as it turned out, he didn't need them.

"Kahl, since both your and my partners are gone, and you'd rather die than have Mr. Garrison fail your Jewish ass, how about we work together?" Kyle narrowed his eyes and said, "What's the catch?" He had ignored the Jewish comment, for this might be his only chance not to fail. Even though this seemed to be a scene created by a shallow idiot who didn't know in the least what they did, he would play along with it. (HEY! MEANNESS KYLE!)

Cartman grinned, took his project out of his bag, and when Kyle saw the words "Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch" on it, he shoved it out of Cartman's hands, 'accidentally_'_ throwing it in the gutter.

"Now we have to do my project." Cartman snorted, saying, "Who says I have to do your project?" Kyle felt a headache coming, and his temper flaring. If he blew up at Cartman, Cartman would win. He couldn't stand Cartman's self-satisfied grin right now. He might kill him, or throw an iceball at him. He grabbed Cartman by the collar, ignoring his protests about "Jew germs."

"Listen to me, you fat, racist asshole. We will do things my way. If we don't, I will destroy your Xbox." Kyle said, trying to talk in a flat tone to conceal his anger. Any sign of irritation would mean Cartman could find a weak spot, would manipulate it, and win. He released Cartman, who said something about being big-boned.

They stood there in awkward silence, occaisonally looking at Kenny's dead body. Thankfully, the bus came soon.

* * *

><p>Dib was distraught. Horrified, and terrified. His father had said that there was a big buyer for SuperToast in a town called South Park, and they would all move there. Dib knew what would happen if he left Zim alone to his world domination.<p>

_The Statue of Liberty had fallen, as had the Golden Gate Bridge. Las Vegas and its glitz was but a crumbled city. Standing on top of this ruined, doomed planet was an green alien about five feet tall, laughing down at the ruins._

Dib jolted awake. Gaz had punched him in the arm, while still playing her GameSlave. Lucky her, bringing something along on this plane trip. All Dib had brought was his gloomy thoughts of how Zim would take over.

"Get me some peanuts." Dib honestly didn't know why she wanted them, she just chucked them at the person in front of them. Dib got up, glad to be released from his apocalypse for at least a few minutes, and bumped into a boy about his age, with wide, traumatized looking eyes, and clutching a teddy bear. He uttered a small "squee!" noise and ran back to his seat.

Dib considered chasing him, but just got the nuts and handed them to Gaz. She started to throw them at the girl in front of her, who sneezed violently each time one came close to her. Dib got up again, to find the boy, because anything was better than the nightmare about Zim taking over.

Except maybe the other girl in the row in front of them, who was on a laptop, frantically typing something called "Side Stories From Hell." She had a shirt on that was like Dib's.

* * *

><p>"GIR! WHAT IS THIS!"<p>

"IT'S SOUTH PARK!" Gir clutched them, sowing the hole in Kenny. Zim watched as GIR's head started to play a song, and his eyes went red.

**"I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME"**

**"FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE, HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION," **The song sang, and it sounded like how he thought the green hatted boy and blue bobble-

hatted boy would sing.

**"I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK GONNA LEAVE MY WOES BEHIND"**

**"AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT, PEOPLE SPOUTING HOWDY NEIGHBOR," **Zim decided this voice went with the obese boy in the red shirt.

**"HEADING ON UP TO SOUTH PARK GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND"**

**(Okay, I ain't typing Kenny's part, because it changes through the seasons and the kid is way too vulgar, even for T. And I will wear out the use of swears without typing this.) **Zim knew this voice went with the boy who had most of his face covered.

**"SO COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE!" **Gir's eyes turned cyan again, and he looked under the table for more plushies. He pulled out one with spiky blond spiky hair, and was caught in the middle of a spaz attack, one eye closed. A coffee cup was clenched in one hand. Another plushie had a blue hat with earflaps, and was flipping people off with one hand. There were many, many, so many. . .

"GIR! What is South Park?" Gir's head transformed into a speaker, preparing to play the song again. Zim smacked his head. They would get nowhere if he always did that. "No GIR, what is this South Park?"

Gir turned the T.V. on, and the boys that were plushies were on T.V. They were at the house of the boy who had a plushie that showed him in mid-spaz attack and clutching a coffee cup. They had just all seen gnomes, and the fat kid hit him with a newspaper. The boy with a green hat said, "No, Cartman," and the gnome called Cartman a pussy. Cartman hit it again.

Now they all were following the gnome through a forest, and Cartman was still pissed at the gnome. A little while later, a cart fell on the orange hoodied boy. The blue hatted boy said "Oh my God they killed Kenny" and the green hatted one said "You bastards." The gnomes appeared freaked out. "DUDE! We killed your friend!"

.

.

.

"You know what? I learned something today." Stan said, and then Stan recounted the moral of the episode. The episode ended, and the credits aired. Zim looked at the T.V. While he was watching it, his eyes had turned swirly, and he had forgotten what he called GIR for. When another episode came on, he stood there, apparently brain-dead, eyes only for the T.V. Anyone watching would think there was something wrong with him.

.

.

.

.

The episode ended, and Zim recovered his wits. He turned the T.V. off, and yelled, "GIR! THE T.V. IS A HYPNOTIC DEVICE THING!" GIR started to chew on the T.V., slowly devouring the T.V., until he burped out the power button. "WAFFLES!" yelled GIR. He then ate the power button. Zim walked to the elevator, and flushed himself down. He suddenly remembered why he had called GIR in the first place. Two of the rabid mutant octopi had escaped their restraints, and were using their acid ink to eat away at the cages.

"GIR! BRING THE HARPOON OF STABBING!"

"WHALE BLUBBER!" GIR came out of the elevator, carrying a giant harpoon. Zim took it from GIR, and aimed it at the octopi. He shot one, then the other. Zim looked on the cameras, and saw that in the next house over, they were also watching the show. Zim's eyes became swirly again, and his wits had, apparently, left the building. When that episode was over, Zim glared at the screen. "ALL OF IT HAS BEEN FIXED BY A HYPNO RAY! GIR, DISPOSE OF ALL THE-" Zim stopped, considering something, a coherent thought trying to swim its way upwards through Zim's mind.

_Zim had just watched some of the Scary Monkey show with GIR after South Park, and he hadn't been hypnotized then. When watching South Park, he went into a temporary paralysis._

Zim thought about this, raising one eyebrow (just kidding, metaphor, Zim has no eyebrows). "COMPUTER! WHERE IS THIS 'SOUTH PARK'?"

"It's a town in Denver." Zim thought about this. If he could destroy South Park, one of his weaknesses would be gone.

* * *

><p>Hey, you know the swirly eye thing I was talking about while watching South Park? I'm hypnotized by the show. You either hate it or become addicted, that's it. I can't wait until October 19th. NEW SODES, HERE I COME!<p>

Hey, this is only the beginning. Hence the introduction of only Dib, Squee, Gaz, Zim, GIR, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan. And to a lesser extent, Tweek.

And guess what? My high school's assistant principal says, "Aight (All right)" at the end of every sentence. He sounds JUST like Mr. Mackey! And he sometimes says "Mmkay".

Don't you wish you had GIR's plushies? I do. Especially voodoo plushies!

REVIEW, I DO HAVE A PLOT. And there shall be side-stories thrown in! And don't go easy cause it's my first story. I need a lot of heat in the refining machine (**Constructive Criticism, only that, not flames, I can TOTALLY tell the difference, I've read numerous fanfictions and reviews.**) before I can achieve the bleesseed state of glass (awesome fanfics) from state of dirt (my fanfics).

Come on, click the button! Do it! Or I will latch onto your arm and gnaw on you! Or block off Comedy Central and Nicktoons from you, and break everything you can watch South Park and Invader Zim from! Or sing to you until your head explodes.

Cathy: She'll do it. I should know, I'm stuck in her head.

Me: REVIEW!

Kyle: What's up with the school project thing?

Me: Dammit Kyle! I cain't spoil it! But can you say Kyman?

Kyle: (turns green, vomits) SICK!

Me: I'm only kidding, or am I? Any who, where's Ike?

Kyle: (Points offscreen)

Me: IKEE! (Hugs Ike) You're SO cute!

Kyle: You're killing him.

Me: (releases Ike) Now I'm ending this.

**REVIEW! OR ELSE!**

Zim: Or else what, PUNY HUMAN FILTH?

Me: Or I sing to you. I have destroyed Pluto with my voice. NO ONE ELSE FRICKIN' TALK, WE'RE BORING THE AUDIENCE. (pouts) Gaz threw peanuts at me. And it looks like Squee, too, is going down to South Park. I don't, in real life, have peanut allergies. SO DON'T THROW PEANUTS AT ME.

Cartman: (throws peanuts)

Me: FORGET YOU CARTMAN! (face swells up) I AM ADDING KYMAN NOW, YOU ASS!

Kyle: I DID NOTHING! I don't deserve this! (attacks computer)

Me: (sighs and pouts) I like Kyman, but I guess I'll give Cutters a try. (starts typing on a PSP)

Cartman: (throws more peanuts)

Me: BAD CARTMAN! Kenric now too! (injects self with Epipen)

Kenny: . . .

Me: (sighs) I guess no Kenric. BUT YOU WATCH YOURSELF CARTMAN. I have another story I'm working on. And it may or may not contain pairings you HAE-YAE-YAE-YATE.

Cartman: RESPECT! MAH! AUTHORITAH! (Elephant machine-gun fires peanuts at me)

Me: WHO THE FUCK MADE HIM A ZOO DEPUTY? (Gets mouse, elephant tramples me) Ugh. . . Now this. . . is. . . over. END IT KYLE! AND TAKE AWAY HIS BADGE!

Cathy and Liz: Where the hell are we?

Me: Next chapter you all will get to kill Mary-Sues. (rubs hands evilly)

Marionette Anisonia Seymone Suzanette (The initials. Look at them.): (flips knee-long pink hair over shoulder, after coming from nowhere) What did YOU SAY? At least Kyle, Nny, Squee, Dib, Purple, Red, Kenny, Cartman, Stan, and Zim still love me.

Liz: FUCK YOU, _I_ WANT KYLE. (chews off Mary's head using her braces)

Mary ASS: (head regenerates) Goshdarn you! (eyes go to red from their purple) (tries to use plasma hands to destroy Liz)

**REVIEW! PLEASE! Come on, click the button! Or I'll be a SAAAAD panda. **

**Sorry it was crappy, but it was COLLECTING DUST! DUST I TELL YOU! **

**Anyone have a title idea? Anyone at all? Don't be shy, there are no wrong answers. EXCEPT SILENCE!**

**Seriously, I need a cool title. A good title. This one is blegh.**


End file.
